When a Brother—or Pastor—Gets It Wrong: Confronting Doctrinal Disagreement Biblically

Sometimes what we think is correction turns out to be clarity. Truth and humility meet when we seek understanding before assumption.

Matthew 18:15–17 and the Call to Handle Truth with Grace

It’s one thing to be offended by someone’s actions. It’s another thing entirely to be unsettled by what someone teaches, especially when that person is your pastor.

Jesus gives us a clear framework in Matthew 18:15–17  for handling sin and conflict within the church:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you... If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.”

Most of us read that passage in the context of relational offenses, when someone hurts us personally. But what happens when the issue isn’t personal, but theological? When you hear your pastor teach something that you believe is doctrinally off, maybe even dangerous? Does Matthew 18 still apply?

Yes, and maybe even more so.

The Goal Is Always Restoration, Not Exposure

Jesus’ instruction in Matthew 18 isn’t just about conflict resolution, it’s about restoration and unity built on truth. The principle remains the same whether the sin is moral or doctrinal: go to the person privately first.

When a believer publicly criticizes their pastor’s teaching without first going to them privately, it often creates confusion and division rather than clarity. Doctrine matters deeply, but so does the way we defend it. Truth delivered without love becomes a weapon, not a healing balm.

Paul reminded Timothy that “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness” (2 Timothy 2:24–25). The same spirit applies to the one doing the correcting. You can be right in theology but wrong in approach. And both matter to God.

Step One: Go Directly to the Source

If you believe your pastor has taught something that’s doctrinally wrong, and you’re confident it’s not a matter of interpretation or personal opinion, go to him personally and privately. Ask questions before making accusations. You might say:

“Pastor, I heard you say [insert point]. I may have misunderstood, but it sounded like it contradicted [Scripture reference]. Could you help me understand what you meant?”

That simple approach does three things:

1. It shows humility instead of pride.

2. It gives the pastor a chance to clarify or correct.

3. It protects unity and keeps gossip out of the mix.

And here’s the truth: sometimes what we need isn’t correction, but clarity. We may think the pastor is in error when, in reality, we only heard part of the context or misunderstood the intent behind the teaching. And sometimes, we may be the ones who are wrong. That’s why a private conversation is so important. It provides space for understanding before assumption, for clarity before criticism.

When both sides seek the truth humbly, God is honored. Whether the correction goes one way or both, the process strengthens the church rather than dividing it.

The Role of Submission and Spiritual Authority

In his book Under Cover, John Bevere writes about a principle that many believers overlook: when we commit to a local church, through membership or even faithful attendance, we are willingly placing ourselves under the spiritual authority of that church’s leadership.

That doesn’t mean leaders are infallible. But it does mean we recognize that God has appointed spiritual authority as part of His divine order. Hebrews 13:17 says,

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.”

When we forget that, we risk stepping out from under the “covering” that God designed for our protection and accountability. Submission doesn’t mean silence, it means the posture of your heart remains humble, even in disagreement.

Bevere puts it well: submission is not agreement, but it is honor. We can challenge an idea without dishonoring the person. God honors that spirit, because He is a God of order, not chaos.

So when you approach a pastor about doctrine, do so not as an equal debater but as a humble brother or sister seeking clarity under God’s structure of authority.

Step Two: Bring Witnesses, Not Reinforcements

If after that conversation the issue remains unresolved, and you’re convinced the teaching truly departs from Scripture, not just preference, it’s appropriate to bring one or two mature believers who know the Word well. The goal isn’t to gang up on the pastor but to bring accountability and perspective.

This step must be handled prayerfully, humbly, and with great caution. It’s easy for this to slide into “us vs. him,” but that’s not the spirit of Christ.

Step Three: Bring It Before the Church (Carefully)

If the issue is serious enough—say, denying the deity of Christ, promoting false gospels, or contradicting core Christian doctrine—and remains unrepented after multiple conversations, Scripture allows for the matter to be brought before church leadership or the congregation.

This isn’t about shaming. It’s about protecting the flock. Paul told Titus to “rebuke those who contradict sound doctrine” (Titus 1:9). Shepherds are to guard the flock from false teaching, but when a shepherd is the one teaching error, the body must lovingly but firmly guard truth as well.

That said, this should be the last resort. The goal is not to prove someone wrong publicly but to uphold truth faithfully.

Truth and Tone Both Matter

Too often, believers go public before going personal. They take to social media, small groups, or coffee conversations to air their concerns before ever seeking a face-to-face discussion. That’s not discernment, that’s division.

If the goal is truly to correct error for the sake of truth, it will always begin in private prayer and a private conversation.

Remember, the same Jesus who said “go to your brother” also said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Truth without love isn’t Christianity, it’s arrogance wrapped in orthodoxy.

Guarding Doctrine with Humility

The Church has always been called to contend for the faith (Jude 1:3), but that doesn’t give us a license to be contentious. Doctrine matters deeply because truth is what sets people free. But how we handle doctrinal disagreement may reveal whether our heart loves truth, or just loves being right.

So if you ever find yourself questioning your pastor’s teaching, don’t gossip. Don’t assume. Don’t recruit allies.

Instead, pray. Go privately. Ask with humility. Listen carefully. Speak truthfully.

Because how we handle truth reveals what we really believe about grace.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Have I ever confronted someone about a doctrinal issue with the wrong attitude?

2. Do I understand what biblical submission looks like within my local church?

3. Am I seeking clarity—or simply confirmation of what I already think?

4. How can I model both conviction and compassion when confronting theological error?