Love and Judgment: A Biblical Perspective on What True Love Really Is

The Dalai Lama, "Love is the absence of judgment."

The Dalai Lama once said, “Love is the absence of judgment.” At first glance, this statement seems to be a comforting, peaceful call for unconditional love, free from the burden of judgment. However, as we dive deeper into both the practical and biblical understanding of love, we see that this idea is not only misleading but can lead to a dangerous misunderstanding of what love truly is and how it operates. Love, in the biblical sense, is often the exact opposite of this idea—it involves judgment, correction, and discernment.

The Confusion of "Love is the Absence of Judgment"

In our culture today, we hear the phrase "love is love" thrown around frequently, often to justify all kinds of behaviors, regardless of their moral or ethical implications. The Dalai Lama's assertion that love means the absence of judgment seems to fall into this modern, relativistic understanding of love. At its core, this idea suggests that love requires us to tolerate everything, accept anything, and never point out wrongdoing. In other words, love becomes synonymous with passivity and apathy—never judging, never challenging, and never calling anything into question.

This concept of love can create confusion, as it ignores the complexities and hard realities that true love often requires. It cheapens the idea of love by reducing it to mere acceptance without discernment. If love truly means "the absence of judgment," does that mean we should overlook injustice, sin, or even harmful behaviors? Does it mean we should accept every form of behavior, no matter how destructive? Surely, this cannot be the case.

Biblical Love is Not "Absence of Judgment"—It’s Active and Discernment-Filled

In stark contrast to the Dalai Lama’s idea, the Bible paints a much more nuanced and complex picture of love. Far from being an absence of judgment, biblical love is often intertwined with judgment, but in a righteous, redemptive way.

Love as Correction and Discipline

Biblical love does not leave people where it finds them. It is an active, purposeful force, seeking to bring individuals into greater alignment with God’s will. This requires judgment. In Hebrews 12:6, we read, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” Here, we see that true love involves discipline, which is inherently judgmental. Because of His love, the Lord judges our actions and brings correction to help us grow. To truly love someone is to care enough to help them course-correct when necessary, which often involves making discerning judgments.

Jesus' Love Was Full of Judgment

Perhaps the clearest example of biblical love as judgment is found in the life of Jesus. He was both full of grace and truth (John 1:14), perfectly balancing mercy and judgment. Jesus’ love did not shy away from judging sin. In fact, He often judged harshly the actions of those who were leading others astray (e.g., the Pharisees in Matthew 23). At the same time, He judged with redemptive purposes, as in His dealings with sinners like the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), where He forgave her but also told her to “go and sin no more.”

Jesus' love was not about avoiding judgment but offering the opportunity for transformation through that judgment. In this sense, biblical love does not simply condone behavior—it confronts wrongs, corrects, and calls people to live in a manner worthy of the calling they’ve received (Ephesians 4:1).

The Importance of Discernment in Love

In Matthew 7:1-5, Jesus says, “Judge not, that you be not judged,” but He doesn’t stop there. He goes on to say, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” Here, Jesus is not saying we should never judge; rather, He is calling for proper judgment—one that is discerning, humble, and self-aware. The absence of judgment leads to a lack of discernment, which in turn leads to tolerating wrongs that could harm others. Love, in the biblical sense, requires us to make discerning judgments, helping each other to grow in Christlikeness.

Judgment Is Not Condemnation—It’s Redemptive

In the Bible, judgment is never about condemning people for the sake of condemnation. Instead, it is about a righteous standard that leads people to repentance and restoration. In John 3:17, it says, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” Jesus did not come to make harsh, final judgments that would condemn all people to hell. Instead, He came to reveal the truth, expose sin, and offer the way of salvation.

Judgment in Scripture is not an end; it is a means to an end. It is designed to bring people into the light, help them recognize their need for God, and turn them toward righteousness. Love that is devoid of judgment fails to address the root of issues and leaves people trapped in their destructive behaviors.

The Role of Love in the Church

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul defines love as patient, kind, and not keeping a record of wrongs. But he also teaches that love rejoices with the truth (verse 6), meaning that love does not shy away from confronting falsehoods or sin. For the church to truly love others, it must not abandon judgment but rather engage in the kind of judgment that seeks the truth and speaks it in love.

When we avoid judgment in the name of love, we end up denying people the very thing they need most: the truth that leads to transformation. The church’s call to love the world around it is not about accepting everything unconditionally without discernment; it is about standing firm in the truth while offering grace and forgiveness to those who fall short.

Conclusion: True Love Involves Righteous Judgment

The idea that “love is the absence of judgment” is not only biblically inaccurate but also spiritually dangerous. It leads to confusion about what love truly is and how it should operate. Biblical love is active, purposeful, and yes, it often involves making judgments—righteous judgments aimed at restoration, not condemnation.

True love doesn’t leave people where it finds them. It challenges, corrects, and calls others to something better. It doesn’t shy away from truth, even when that truth is uncomfortable. As Christians, we are called to love like Christ: full of grace and truth, embracing both mercy and judgment for the sake of redemption.

If we want to love like Jesus, we must remember that true love is never the absence of judgment. It is the righteous, redemptive application of judgment, aimed at bringing people closer to God’s perfect will for their lives.